WestCoast101

Ian...

...wanted to know what I'm doing over here on the computer, so we are creating a post together.

In a moment

How important is it to capture feelings in a moment, like now. Do I need to write this? Must be… do I want to write this… no.

LOTR was an evening capped with things that are not to be discussed in here and now. That’s right. I tell of a partial truth or perhaps a secret. I must learn to let go of what is left of my innocence. There is rarely purity in life, in others. The weight of the baggage of others weighs on me. I can feel it. I felt it the other night on my Crack Avenue adventure… the burden. I am learning that I cannot bear that weight… to be strong for others. I can only be strong. That is all.

"I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you and it as well."

- Sam Gamgee to Frodo

Lucky Frodo. Lucky Sam. I wish we could all wear our hearts on our sleeves like that. I wish I could carry and be carried.

It occurred to me that Fellowship, with all their hardship, still had it pretty good. Most of us have do not have a fire of Mordor in which to cast our daemons. How far would you go save humanity? To save yourselves?

I wish I could go to Mordor, but I am already there. I’m already in the Shire too… conundrum.

Brent just called. It’s 9:30am. I really wanted to talk. He had to go.

I am putting out my third cigarette… I hope it hurts less leaving them this time. I think I have refined that skill… of leaving them… on vera.

My heart feels empty… but stronger.

The cumulative…

… post. I have been unable to secure any solid time with a connection except at Ian where I have not made the effort to get it done. Searching for jobs and such… This is a post of the efforts that i have made offline:

I want to stay here…

…and I need a job. HELP!? My riding gear will be here next week ;)

I could have rollerbladed today. I took picture of a sort of palm tree today. Good times…

[First drafted offline at 8:27pm on December 17th, 2003]

I am going to walk to…

…the Templeton. I know I can connect there. There are so many weak connections in this city.

[First drafted offline at 5:59pm on December 17th, 2003]

I am trying to gain the confidence…

…ask a complete stranger to have a drink or a bite to eat. It’s slow…

[First drafted offline at 5:42pm on December 17th, 2003]

There are some very strong…

…and beautiful women here. People have a lot of history here. I not meeting many “transplants” but instead 5th and 6th generation West Coasters. All my friends in Montreal just got there.

[First drafted offline at 4:19pm on December 17th, 2003]

Vancouver is slowing me down…

…but in a good way. I feel less prone to rush into the next thing and more apt to enjoy the moment for what it is. This is unlike me in many ways. Change is good. Have been eating like a champion (short of the crab I had few nights ago - I think it spurred a sort of allergic reaction). Sweet potatoes, lean fish, rice, less bread and cheese, and most importantly, a sort of regular breakfast. I can really feel these foods later in the evening. My energy is strong and stable. I have just done yoga (adlib DVD styles) for the fourth day in a row. I look and feel better than 3 month in the gym. My shoulders are relaxed. I am aware of my posture. I am aware of my breathing. None of this means that I am anywhere near having proper posture or that I am breathing well all the time, only that I able to catch myself more often and make the necessary adjustments. I don’t want to stop. This is real. I don’t credit Van with any off these new “habits”, but it is a little easier here.

[First drafted offline at 4:00pm on December 17th, 2003]

I’ve lost patience…

…with intermittent connections. It’s like adjusting the rabbit ears on your TV except instead of missing a show, I keep getting cut off during IM conversations, during a bank transactions, during a down or upload. The drag lies in needing to verify for the connection. Do I sit in this Italian coffee shop or the vegan soup shop? Walking in, cracking open a $4000 notebook, and then leaving without buying anything. One has yet said anything, but I know they are “wondering” what I am doing. I wish I had a wrist watch or cell phone that would beep once it finds a public unsecured WiFi access point.

“Don’t you fear…

…for your lives gentlemen?” Yesterday was perhaps beyond words, but I will try.

[The weed] Firstly, there was the weed. I hadn’t yet smoked any BC buds and was really looking forward to my first puff. I finally got my opportunity in the form of Ian’s friends. We planned to drive up to Whistler for the weekend. I raced home after leaving the Templeton to find a new addition my small collection of BC acquaintances - Mackey. Roughly 5 minutes after a hand shake, out came the kind… and wow. My “skills” are no match for these masters. We smoked three before ending our 2 hours journey north. I was… ummm… i… think… I… ummm… was… WHAT?... oh… speechless… like a TV on mute.

[The mountain] The dive up to the mountain was INSANE. I am a driver. I can drive circles around most and stick to asses of most others. These twisting and winding and rising and falling roads made me want to take the jump on the wheel. My eyes were fixed on the next apex and mind locked on the variable road integrities and habits of the other drivers. Then I lifted my head. OMG! Look at these mountains… (gasp) these mountains. It was 9:00pm and the sun had set, but I was still in utter awe… even in the darkness.

The air was so crisp, clean, and light that I couldn’t stop saying “The Air… the freakin’ air…” It made me run. Has the air ever made you run? Get you to the point where breathing more of it requires getting the heart rate up - so all you can think to do is run? That’s how it felt.

For the most part, the bar was full of not so impoverished and very beautiful people. Every one there had such a healthy glow… like they all spent the day at some spa or something. We drank copious amounts including two bottles of champagne… not my idea (or cup of tea)… it all worked out somehow… I was still set to mute. I broke out of it at some point, but only to find that I was drunk. I gave up on conversation. I woke the next morning without a trace of a hangover… the freakin' air… Our Irish breakfast* set the mood for the day.

The cottage we stayed at consisted mainly of a room with a sink, a fridge, a stove and a sofa. The upstairs was basically an attic shaped room with a field of mattresses with a massive pile of blankets and pillows stuffed into a corner. I thought this rocked. I lay in the field and slept in a cold and fresh that I haven’t felt in ages.

[The fish] I was going to go in to this long and deliberate description of what the fish is like here in Van, but have decided only to say - holy smokes! And not just regarding the fish, but the fruits and veggies also. The tuna here is Soto in Montreal with even trying. Chinatown is everywhere. Everything is fresh. If you like to cook, you’ll like Vancouver. Spices and herbs are still fresh in December! It’s all I want to eat.

[The walk] Ian and I returned from Whistler rather tired. I had pressed the mute button once before breakfast and once on the ride down. The ride back was… enormous. I gasped… movie style…

After dozing off here and there, we took off to the Morrissey (local restobar) to have a drink (and why are doing this over and over??). Earlier that week, I had introduced Ian to Absinthe. It is sold at the Morrissey for $13 a shot. He ordered 12 shots and 6 pints to “wash up”. OUCH! And I mean OUCH…

At 4:00am, we left the bar and started home. At some point, Ian asks, “You wanna see a Vancouver prostitute?” We never found any prostitutes (for SEEING!!!!!!!!), but did find a whole lot more. At some point, this kid walks up to Ian and asks for a light. Ian looks at me crooked and raises his eyebrow. “You gonna light up in a corner or something?” “Yeah.” And he lit up… crack people. I started crying and couldn’t stop. And it got worse.

I was walking along the road weeping. I’ll blame the Absinthe. I’ll blame the fucking absurd contrast between the based of those mountains and the smell of crack burning. I’ll blame myself. I was off the deep end. I saw a cop across the street. I walked up to him and he said “Stand over there please”, so I did. I told him that I had never been here and that I was sad to see what I saw. He asked me if I was drunk. “No. Well, yes. That’s beside the point!” He asked, “Don’t you fear for your lives gentlemen?” and proceeded to describe the various way we might die tonight, and then drove off. I was shocked. I am not used to seeing young people so desperate. It hurt… won’t happen again ;)

This city could keep me very busy.

* Irish Breakfast
(not actually Irish/requires a pub with kitchen)
Breakfast where the bill for food is =< than the bill for booze.

[First drafted offline at 1:19pm on December 15th, 2003]

Radiohead at Templeton

I am walking through the streets of Vancouver with my iPod set to randomly select Radiohead tunes for any and all of their albums. I was had asked around about WiFi access points and was direct to the Templeton. Great place… young and friendly (I wonder when I will no longer see myself as young) and as luck would have it, RADIOHEAD was playing. This city looks beautiful with Radiohead.

While uploading pictures [Thumbnails+], found out that my web server has a virus. What a drag… now I have to clean up.

7 10...

…and I am the only one awake. It is 7am BC time. There is an access point somewhere around here. I had some trouble connecting yesterday, but today everything seems to be working wonderfully. My back is out. Within an hour of arriving, Ian tells me he’s borrowing a car and that there in a get together (not a party because a party would mean debauchery and that not what we are here to do ;) in Whistler. He said his buddies go snowmobiling all over the mountain. He described “power bowls”… I NEED TO SEE AN OSTEOPATH. Snowmobiles are winters motorcycles.

On a whim…

…I sat down and sparked my notebook in the YVR bar. I found a HotSpot right away… ain’t free though. I think this is going to be a good little “holiday”. The flight was rather uneventful. My back was acting up, but a pro lime me now knows how to cope. I hope to wake up tomorrow without too much pain.

Flying over the Rockies, even at night, was overwhelming. I cannot wait to leave ;) My flight leaves BC at 7am. That should make for a good picture or two. I was able to reach my friend Ian right away. He was having dinner with his sister. Just like old times. I am off to Burnaby…

West Coast 101...

...will be used to document my first West Coast experience. Thus far:

1) My neck still hurts [Useless Flesh].
2) I have no real plan.
3) I am talking my notebook (IBM T40), my camera (Canon G3), and my iPod (20G).
4) I am going to try and pack light.
5) I am going to rent a car in Vancouver and drive to Seattle, Portland, San Fransisco, Los Angeles, San Diego... I think...