Part I – I sit here, on a Saturday morning…
…reviewing the current job situation. I am troubled. To my surprise, the job I left 8 weeks ago is still waiting for me. I greet this with mixed emotions. I am happy to have a job and that this job is challenging. I am concern about the amount of focus required to complete it, or moreover, concerned about the specific nature of that focus. I am not sure .NET and sales consolidation systems are “up my professional ally” right now.
Conundrum… so, what to do? I am going to take a really big chance and just do something. I like yoga. I like gyms. I like Aikido. I like music. I need to read books. I want to surround myself with these things. I am going to make it happen. I want technology to become the serious hobby and the rest to become my life.
I will stop hoping or wishing for things that I want and need.
Part II – It was the moment I stopped writing…
…that I considered talking to Ian about the idea. He suggested I stop moving and “vacationing” and that I focus for a while. I guess… I want to go to New York and see Nadija, get my bike, say hi to the familia and… that’s the issue; what then? I will surely want to ride my bike back. But that is a long and arduous journey. I want to go to New York. The reality of these decisions is over whelming. They are not easy. I will try be decidedly focused. The idea that I would fly across the country for a sushi dinner doesn’t intimidate me. It’s the idea that I might not make it “back”. But back to what? What have I really built here? Ricardo now owes me $1300USD and I am “nervous” about the whole deal. He stated that I am liable in that I “ran his van into the ground”; likely story. I did. I don’t know how to drive, it is true. That mere thought of an oily bolt makes me cringe… right… I was upset with the predictability of his accusations. I had rehearsed my answers from San Diego to Blaine.
Time to walk the dog.
Part III – I walked the dog, ate chocolate…
…and went to bed. It is Sunday morning. I need to design a proposal for Granville Entertainment. This task remains as daunting as it was yesterday. Nadija hasn’t yet replied to me about what sort of inconvenience I might be in NYC. I will not go without her “approval”, at least in so far as she tells me she has the time and space for me. I would never want to impose. I would never want to be disappointed.
I have been chatting with a friend from Montreal (hey Shawn!) and had a phone call with my dad. They both helped me clear up a few things. The bottom lines:
a) I am moving to the US in the next three months and only need a little time and money.
b) I do not need to repeat the same “building up” process that I went through in Montreal. I can start from where I left off. The Granville job would be a small but significant step backwards.
So, what to do? I’ll be right back.
I was in Blaine, Washington…
…when Ricardo and Jessica finally showed up to grab me. They were 2 hours late and blamed the border crossing. I don’t doubt it. Border crossings can be very frustrating. Upon, their arrival and after a quick inspection of the van, we sat down in the Blaine Casino/Bar/Restaurant/Town Hall/Library for a drink and a gamble. Jessica won $75.
I am in Blaine, Washington…
…and expectedly waiting for Ricardo and Jessica. At this point, they are only one hour late. I went over to the local brasserie for some reading. It freaked me out and I left. Blaine has an eerie small town feel right now. I can see the Canada/US border from the van. This phase of my journey is over.
Returning to Vancouver… I am looking forward to some sushi, seeing Ian, and Blackcomb. A beer or two at the Templeton might also be in order, but I think I am going to do something first. I am going raw… for one month. I want to clean up. I want to do yoga everyday. I wan to commit to myself in a whole new way.
I also need to find a job. This journey has wiped me out. I wonder if my Granville job is still waiting for me.
When I get back, I need to also clean up my affaires. Too many loose ends… I am getting rid of my car and shipping the bike out here. It’s gonna be a CB summer. I might go to New York to meet someone, and if I do, I will take the opportunity to fly home and deal with these affaires.
1:15 late. Maybe they got stuck at the border. I should call them soon. It’s raining. I haven’t seen rain in a while. Welcome home…
Seattle…
…has the best public market I have ever seen in the US.
Brasserie Montmartre…
…18yo scotches and Satre. Good times...
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